Living the Life That You Are: Finding Wholeness When You Feel Lost, Isolated, and Afraid

by Nic Higham

Published by Non-Duality Press / New Harbinger

Do you feel lonely, disconnected, or incomplete? Are you afraid that you’ll never be fulfilled unless you can be, have, or do more? When you feel inadequate and alone, the world can seem like an unfamiliar, confusing, and scary place. You may even avoid it out of fear of being criticised, misunderstood, or uncomfortable—which can lead to even more isolation and loneliness. This book can help you break this painful cycle and find peace, confidence, and fulfilment, right here and now.

In this nonduality book influenced by the teaching of Nisargadatta Maharaj, Nic Higham examines the modern-day dilemma of loneliness, revealing that its root cause is our belief that we’re all separate individuals bound by personal limitations. Using radical mindfulness and the practical tools in this enlightening guide, you’ll learn to observe, acknowledge, and question your fears and beliefs—allowing your sense of being lost and alone to give way to a loving state of connection with all.

Purchase at Amazon

An Amazon.com best seller (depression category 8th July 2018)


Praise for Living the Life That You Are: Finding Wholeness When You Feel Lost, Isolated, and Afraid

“When we dive into the ocean of our aloneness, our loneliness can come to an end. What a beautiful paradox to meditate upon. In The Life That You Are, Nic Higham challenges us to stop running away from our present experience –however uncomfortable or intense it is and plunge into the ocean of present moment awareness. This is not about ‘letting go’ of or ‘releasing’ our anxiety, our fears and sorrows. This is not about destroying the ego or becoming a spiritually enlightened, superhuman being, immune to the pains of being human. This is about being exactly as we are, human vulnerabilities and all. This is about letting go of our assumptions about reality and becoming deeply curious about ourselves, allowing our feelings instead of resisting them, watching our thoughts instead of trying to control them, questioning our beliefs instead of holding to them. This is about discovering the beauty in our ordinariness, the divine essence in our flaws, and coming to see that loneliness is not an enemy, or a mistake, or a sign of our failure, but a great signpost to non dual awareness, a call to remember this constant, brilliant light that illuminates our lives from deep within. Living The Life That You Are weaves together psychology, ancient wisdom and honest personal reflections into a coherent and inspiring whole. If loneliness is the great disease of the modern age, then Nic’s heartfelt plea for self love is much needed medicine. Even if your mind cannot comprehend all the ideas contained within this book, your heart will know the truth of them.

Living The Life That You Are is a reminder of your original nature, that unconditional love out of which the stars are born. Even if your mind cannot comprehend all the words contained within, your heart will know the truth of them.

Nic will take you on a journey to the place you never left – the present moment – where you will perhaps discover all the peace, love and joy you were always seeking.”

Jeff Foster, non-duality teacher and author

‘A deep and compassionate book that brings the wisdom of non-duality to our sense of loneliness and separation … taking us through these doorways to wholeness and freedom.’

Tim Freke, author of Deep Awake

“I’ve worked closely with Nic Higham for several years and have read his website posts about awakening with great interest and resonance. Working with Nic so closely over the years, I can assure you that his experience is direct. You can feel it for yourself as you read this book. It is my honor to introduce you to Nic if you aren’t aware of his writings yet.”

Scott Kiloby, CEO of The Kiloby Center for Recovery

“Nic writes well and has understood the teachings of Advaita. The book should work well as a guide and self-help, (as opposed to Self which needs no help!).”

Maria Jory, Editor of Beyond Freedom – Talks with Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

“At the heart of Nic Higham’s meditative reflections on non-duality lies an invitation to deep self-inquiry.  As any earnest seeker eventually realizes, life’s deepest truths cannot be known or attained by the mind; rather, the truth gradually reveals itself to those willing to look being the veil. Higham shows us that loneliness and anxiety -rather than being states we should attempt to overcome – can be portals into profound Self-intimacy.  With kindness and clarity, he elucidates the qualities necessary for us to experience for ourselves what the phrase non-dual really means. As an experienced mental health professional, he has combined a deep understanding of both psychology and non-duality to create a work – both words and music – by which to guide us into the knowing we are all ultimately seeking.”

Fiona Robertson, senior facilitator and trainer of Scott Kiloby’s Living Inquiries, and author of The Art of Finding Yourself

“Having worked for many years in acute psychiatric wards and therapeutic groups, [Nic Higham] is very mindful of the needs of those people who are particularly lacking in power, validation and / or culturally reflective experiences… The book has a simple but profound message: live meditatively and inquiringly through cultivating the bespoke selection of mindfulness principles offered. Start your inner revolution with radical mindfulness: when you feel separate from life become your own best friend by shifting your focus of attention to your sense of being, a most loyal quality we all share. Nic shows readers how to locate and tap into this place to help them feel more connected with themselves and others. I cannot recommend enough the opportunity to bring his passion and experience to a wider audience.”

Jonathan Jenkins, Chief Executive London Air Ambulance